« The end of the playlist: @kcrw eclectic24 | Home | Some things remain the same – thankfully »
Tears for Fears: How I Got Here From There aka Take That Chance
By Charles Martin | March 22, 2010
Thanks to a chance encounter (shout out to @campbrand), we went to the Tears for Fears’s (TFF) concert last night at the Wiltern.
It was a long, delayed opening and then… and then… we were all swept back to the mid-80′s like we never left. Smith started on a wonderful bit of “Mad World”. Then we went on to ruling the world and 90 minutes later shouting it out with a lot of stuff in between. I had Curt Smith’s album in my collection and had forgotten. But I didn’t realize until now that Orzabal had written most of the songs. You could tell there had been a disconnect way back. But as a Police freak, I know the experience of seeing your favorite band come back after a long hiatus. It’s not the same on their faces, but the music is just as good.
When that first song started breaking, I was instantly reminded that I stood there with my wife of almost 10 years and that without this song, I may not have even met her.
Yesterday was the day when a lot of touchstones appeared reminding me of this great union that has produced the best part of my life. I was cleaning out the office and saw a picture of a fraternity party where I met my college crush. She would eventually introduce me to my wife. Had I not gone to that one party, I may not appreciate TFF as much as I do and I certainly wouldn’t have done it last night next to the love of my life.
We all can say we met our spouses or the best and most important people in life by chance, but this story does a great deal to remind me (us) to take chances, scare myself on a regular basis, and to appreciate the results — good or bad.
I had gotten through one year of college with amazingly good grades and set off on a new year (1984) as a “well-oiled” sophomore in Lubbock, TX. I thought I knew the ropes. I was gonna teach everyone the way. (this sounds familiar for all that know me – things haven’t changed much). I hesitantly went to that party (I wasn’t sure of pledging the fraternity) and there was a girl there who would change my life. We began dating and doing what college kids do like drinking lots of beer and skipping the study habits. There were (and are) so many great things about her, but our relationship would eventually trash my grades and put me into a spiral of ill respite — not of her doing. I simply didn’t know how to manage a relationship at the time. What 20 year old does?
One thing that she did was introduce me to great music. I had a more Police, rock-based palate back then. She introduced me to more esoteric, melody driven music like TFF and U2. We literally lived for it. Our conversations and our loves for this music kept us together. We traveled to Dallas to see bands and hang out at night clubs underage. We thought we were very cool.
I was glued to her side for a semester and then the new summer came in 1985. TFF’s “Songs from the Big Chair” had been released in February. I wanted only to be with this gal so I invited myself to her hometown for the summer to continue the fun. I ignored the fact that she wanted space and probably needed a rest. She had something with a guy back home that could reignite, so I think I was also protecting all the effort I had put into the relationship. I was insecure. Insecurity never did me (or anyone) any good, but I didn’t find that out ’til later. On the roadtrip down to Houston, we listened to the Big Chair cassette over and over and over. “Shout!” was probably permanently embedded on the Pile Driver speakers in the ’83 Rabbit after the long trip.
Also in 1985, she had a swim meet in San Francisco. I, again, invited myself along and we wound up spending a few extra days hanging out in the city. It was then that I would encounter my wife for the first time — almost 25 years ago. It’s the same sing-song we repeat to this day — “my college girlfriend’s mom was my wife’s mom’s college roommate”. So, basically in true college-kid form we stayed at my future wife’s house so we could live for free. I don’t really remember my wife from then, but I certainly remember the house – to which I still visit — and that weekend.
Nine years later my wife moved to LA and the rest is history.
Last night and the picture all reminded me to take that chance. To break out again and again, no matter how old I get and to let my boys do the same no matter how scary it will be. All the scariest of chances I’ve taken have pretty much turned out great. New York. Marathons. Kids. Leaving cube hell for eFresh. Working in Hollywood. There are many good turns. And because I went to that party, I have the best partner in the world for my ever-changing story. [I also love the part about life where you can track back to a split decision from 25 years ago and be awed at how it all turned out.]
Nothing important gets done without courage, love, and determination. Without the unknown — and I have a lot in my life right now — life would stop on a dime and be unbearably boring. But I’m ready. Are you? (And of course meeting that girl back in ’84 was the best move I’ve ever made.)
Orzabal says it best:
And this my four leaf clover
I’m on the line, one open mind
This is my four leaf clover
In my minds eye
One little boy, one little man
Funny how, time flies
Topics: Kid Stuff, Mind and Planet | No Comments »