It was a long, delayed opening and then… and then… we were all swept back to the mid-80′s like we never left.  Smith started on a wonderful bit of “Mad World”.  Then we went on to ruling the world and 90 minutes later shouting it out with a lot of stuff in between.  I had Curt Smith’s album in my collection and had forgotten.  But I didn’t realize until now that Orzabal had written most of the songs.  You could tell there had been a disconnect way back.  But as a Police freak, I know the experience of seeing your favorite band come back after a long hiatus.  It’s not the same on their faces, but the music is just as good.

When that first song started breaking, I was instantly reminded that I stood there with my wife of almost 10 years and that without this song, I may not have even met her.

Yesterday was the day when a lot of touchstones appeared reminding me of this great union that has produced the best part of my life.  I was cleaning out the office and saw a picture of a fraternity party where I met my college crush.  She would eventually introduce me to my wife.  Had I not gone to that one party, I may not appreciate TFF as much as I do and I certainly wouldn’t have done it last night next to the love of my life.

We all can say we met our spouses or the best and most important people in life by chance, but this story does a great deal to remind me (us) to take chances, scare myself on a regular basis, and to appreciate the results — good or bad.

I had gotten through one year of college with amazingly good grades and set off on a new year (1984) as a “well-oiled” sophomore in Lubbock, TX.  I thought I knew the ropes.  I was gonna teach everyone the way.  (this sounds familiar for all that know me – things haven’t changed much).  I hesitantly went to that party (I wasn’t sure of pledging the fraternity) and there was a girl there who would change my life.  We began dating and doing what college kids do like drinking lots of beer and skipping the study habits. There were (and are) so many great things about her, but our relationship would eventually trash my grades and put me into a spiral of ill respite — not of her doing.   I simply didn’t know how to manage a relationship at the time.  What 20 year old does?

One thing that she did was introduce me to great music.  I had a more Police, rock-based palate back then.  She introduced me to more esoteric, melody driven music like TFF and U2.  We literally lived for it.  Our conversations and our loves for this music kept us together.  We traveled to Dallas to see bands and hang out at night clubs underage.  We thought we were very cool.

I was glued to her side for a semester and then the new summer came in 1985.  TFF’s “Songs from the Big Chair” had been released in February.  I wanted only to be with this gal so I invited myself to her hometown for the summer to continue the fun.  I ignored the fact that she wanted space and probably needed a rest.  She had something with a guy back home that could reignite, so I think I was also protecting all the effort I had put into the relationship. I was insecure.  Insecurity never did me (or anyone) any good, but I didn’t find that out ’til later.  On the roadtrip down to Houston, we listened to the Big Chair cassette over and over and over.  “Shout!” was probably permanently embedded on the Pile Driver speakers in the ’83 Rabbit after the long trip.

Also in 1985, she had a swim meet in San Francisco.  I, again, invited myself along and we wound up spending a few extra days hanging out in the city.  It was then that I would encounter my wife for the first time — almost 25 years ago.  It’s the same sing-song we repeat to this day — “my college girlfriend’s mom was my wife’s mom’s college roommate”.  So, basically in true college-kid form we stayed at my future wife’s house so we could live for free.  I don’t really remember my wife from then, but I certainly remember the house – to which I still visit — and that weekend.

Nine years later my wife moved to LA and the rest is history.

Last night and the picture all reminded me to take that chance.   To break out again and again, no matter how old I get and to let my boys do the same no matter how scary it will be.  All the scariest of chances I’ve taken have pretty much turned out great.  New York. Marathons.  Kids.  Leaving cube hell for eFresh.  Working in Hollywood.  There are many good turns.   And because I went to that party, I have the best partner in the world for my ever-changing story.  [I also love the part about life where you can track back to a split decision from 25 years ago and be awed at how it all turned out.]

Nothing important gets done without courage, love, and determination.  Without the unknown — and I have a lot in my life right now — life would stop on a dime and be unbearably boring. But I’m ready.  Are you? (And of course meeting that girl back in ’84 was the best move I’ve ever made.)

Orzabal says it best:

And this my four leaf clover
I’m on the line, one open mind
This is my four leaf clover
In my minds eye
One little boy, one little man
Funny how, time flies

Diamonds are small for a reason.  Grains of sand make a mountain. 

Our kid’s dumbest act or sound or saying is the thing we laugh the longest about.

We forget this as urban-freaked humans in our new Audi Autos in our Giganto Homes with every bell and whistle.  We forget that just having what we have is enough.  Sure, send this to me when I get off track.  I’ve accepted the fate.  And boy it feels so aswesome.

Everything that probably didn’t go your way this year was due to the big stuff.  Yes, you know it.  Don’t deny it.

I hear people tell me “I can’t be unemployed (take a chance), Charles”.  I hear people tell me “I MUST drive a big, nice, car and have a magazine-ready home, Charles”.  I hear people describe their rocky marriages and relationships and I hear “…it’s about the money, Charles”… “I don’t have the lifestyle she wants me to have, Charles”, or “I have to put 99% of my paycheck in the bank or he/she’ll kill me, Charles”…

Balance is balance and I’m here to guess a lot of us don’t have it.  Underspending is a disease too.  Check your facts Jacks.  Under.  Over.  It’s all the same.

BS on all that crap about the big stuff.

What if.

What if you went all out in 2010 and made it about everything BUT the big stuff.

What if you decided that you couldn’t add any cumulative “fun” purchases over $2,500 (physical product — not education, healthcare, or the sort) to your life in 2010.  Cars, boats, cigars, poker, drugs, jewelry, men, women, alcohol, big vacations… the like.

What if that meant you tried to trick yourself into just finding out if it was possible.  Even if you have a million, billion dollars in your accounts right now, can you pare back?  Can you test the waters and see if you are still the same person after you’re stripped naked? I doubt some of you can muster it.  It’d be fun to find out though.

There’s a lady next door that does night nurse nanny work.  Her current client is an average mom with so-so means that has twin newborns.  One may never leave the hospital.  One lives with machinery tied to him.  You say and I say “boy, I’m thankful for my perfect kids…” But are you? I say you have probably taken them for granted before.  I know I have mine.  Gosh, how sad, but how human.  

Praying and thanking through prayer is fine if you do that sort of thing.  But what do you do in your physical life to show the world that your 3×3 space on the planet is being used worthwhile?  Humans surprise me sometimes with their tally of their gifts to the planet.  It eclipses rock star levels.  Hit me when I get that high.  I try to stop when it gets heady, but in case I don’t hit me. 

We SAY we are thankful and we probably feel like we are.  We SAY we are ready to strip it bare.  But in reality it all goes by so fast that we forget and motor on comparing labels again.  Our most cherished moments in life are the ones when we are young and when money wasn’t on our radar because we didn’t deal with it.  Like my kids are now.  Free and easy.  Everything pops up on the table and we dig in.  Just like the cartoons they watch on TV.

We simply forget that the only SURE thing is death and it’s a-coming.  And before that we need to stop and throw our love and energy around and make a difference in a stranger’s life.  A stranger can be your mother in law that you think you hate.  It can be the lady with the twins.  It can be that person standing at the freeway exit.  I’ve been on the receiving end of charity and I don’t take that for granted — or I try not to.  And in every case it changed my life.

Do it silently.  Do it loudly.  However you do it, just do it!.  So many of us aren’t prepared and so many of us aren’t that bolted down in reality.  Me included.  But I try.  I try real hard. 

The Treehouse gang will announce something in Q1, 2010 that will take place when school is out next year.  It will strip all our defenses bare.  All of our worries and inconsistensies will be tested as we embark on something powerful, but scary and mega-fun at the same time.  The unknown is to be known.  The reality of the world will come into more focus. Our stereotypes are to be exposed and changed.  Our understanding of the world we live in sharpened.  Can’t wait to spill the beans!.

We humans have to change in big ways or we don’t change.  I hope you are able to bolt 2010 down and get what you want out of the rest of your life.  There are some of you that will embark on new marriages, hopefully a few new babies will be born, and new college and new jobs will begin.  I will be there cheering you on because I love and care about you. 

It’s the least I can do.

Make the most of it.

We will.  You will.  I will.

Stay tuned and finish out your 2009 with a bang!

I’m moved each time I watch this.  The kids groovin’ make me think that world actually has a future beyond TARP, Al-yamama, or AIG.  I would love to go in that room and hug each and every singer.  Look at how into it they are.  You can’t not groove with them.

This must be a gift to Chris Martin right about now.  That ol’ Grammy ain’t nothing like this.

Yeah PS22!

Americans are saving money by staying home and away from the Starwoods to hang with the Jones’s.  

They are doing the micro events with the family.  Not the luau’s at the Hilton.

The line at the Zipper will be long this summer.

What if your law firm or dry cleaners had this sign in front of it’s doors or in two or three of the best parking spaces available? Do you think that others just passing by might try your business if they later needed a lawyer or a new dry cleaner? I would and most of the people I know would. It reeks initiative to bring about a welcome first visit and I think virtually any business that needs new customers or clients should think on these terms. In fact, I think that once you give them a great place to park (in places like LA especially) they will be 100% more receptive to your upsell ideas.

How you deliver post intro… well – that’s the hard part.

Did you ever think that you could cut out a meal schedule altogether for kids and just fill them up as needed. Sure… our doctor and your doctor and all the scary smart people say make it convenient for you but what if… what if you just go by the guidance of your doctor when they were babies when they said “they won’t starve!”. If you taught kids to not HAVE to eat “just becuase” we might be able to solve obesity.

The system is definitely broken even though we know its very gene-pool driven. Our kids are rails and they eat the 3 a day cycle but we know they would be probably the same if they (at least the 4 year old) ate 1 on one day, 3 on another and 2 another as hunger came about.

Do you have another way?

It was announced today that human cloning was confirmed in our great state of Cally. They blew up the stem cells right after confirmation (or did they?… let’s ask the I am legend folks). But you see where I’m going with this.

My buddy turned 44 today but when his kid is 44, it won’t be “44″. The day of her birth will be something more of a scientific note that may be celebrated privately at home or remembered for 3 minutes. There will be babies all around her that have been plopped out from petrie dish to petrie dish. It will be easier than making your Kraft mac and cheese when she’s 44 — in 42 years.

That sounds scary and there’s talk of it being outlawed now but the pundits and polls and ballot boxes will all tell.

See you at the “hot blonde, nice body, cute face” window at your nearest hospital.

I remember once way back when I was riding with a +handsome friend of mine and he got a date on the freeway as we moved at 70. He connected — literally.

How many customers and buyers of your product are you sharing space with but not connecting? How many prospects and people that want your product are looking you in the eye on a daily basis but you aren’t doing anything about? As you ride the big mixmaster, think about it and reach out next time you’re in that elevator.