But…

Now, LAPD is amp’d.  Now, acohol is ratcheted back.  Even a hothead endorsed 1/2 price beer and food promo for some weekdays was eliminated.

Relax people.  Really?  We don’t have any proof that alcohol had anything to do with the incident.  We don’t even think the perpetrators were in the stadium before it happened.  Back in the day, the Raiders of LA had more LAPD in the stadium than were in Watts.  It was awful and embarrasing actually.

I get modern liability woes.  I get the worries and jitters of parents sending kids to games.  But the CNN world of 24.7.365 updates on Mrs. Jones’s cat in a tree has killed the fun of going to a baseball game.

Baseball games are long.  Even for the best of fans.  Warm beer and good hotdogs are always the draw.  If we are limited in that blessing — and I bet the 7th inning shut off will now be moved to the 5th… maybe 4th inning — what’s the use?   The bullies win again.

Gosh damn it.  RELAX.  I’m sure that McCourt, the Dodger owner, had more belts before his divorce proceedings.  But he didn’t beat up the judge.  Let the responsible ones of us rule.  That’s the American way.

Second — Kobe Bryant goes out and calls a ref a “faggot”.  He is killed in the press.

RELAX.

Every gay person I know would think the response was ridiculous.  He was fined $100,000 and he is “speaking with gay and lesbian groups”.  Really?  About what?  Great wine and gardening?

Gay people are awesome and they should be ashamed.  They certainly don’t need CNN in their corner.

Everyone knows that some slurs are worse than others and even faggot is bad if you know or think you know someone is gay and you want to slander them.  But I’m sure the ref was wearing his big fat wedding ring and Kobe knew he wasn’t gay.  And even if he was, I doubt Kobe hates gays.  In fact, I can say he doesn’t and I don’t even know him.

The repeat of his lips moving over and over on TV worries me greatly.  When will I be at Kmart and call my kid “boo boo” and have it play over and over on YouTube or NBC?

I think it’s closer than we think.

This is a scary world sometimes.

It’s the best part of scary.  Leaving the ground in a plane to get to some place else.  Scary maybe, but worthy.

We are rising now and it’s great.

Glad we continue to test scary and think you should too.

Unglue yourself from the tired and old.  Open those eyes to something fresh.  Give up something not working and give the other option a try.

You know where to go.

Up.

So I decided to give my red tape scissors a little exercise at the local VA.  I plan to get inside the forms and paper laden area where I can be buried for my volunteer time and listen to an ipod (maybe) while I figure out why an application for a new leg has been on someone’s desk for too long.

I’m not picking on the VA.  I guess I could work at the DMV for free, but what fun would that be?

Scratch that.

The DMV could/would be fun.  Especially since I could turn down all those fake handicap plate applications.  You know who you are.

Never the less, if you know ANYONE associated with the VA, please forward them my email.  I am on a track right now to get some volunteer time in the LA office, but I want to fast track all major forms so I can do this pro-bono outside the actual entity at some point.  I am not trying to skirt any laws or make anyone seem inept.  I know those people are doing all they can with the little they have.

If I can get one returning soldier or veteran into some sort of “better”, I’ll be better.  Period.

Kapeesh?

Really.

Please send this to ANYone related to the military that may know a person in need or a Cally VA office less a few helpful bodies.

~~

You’re not off the hook so quickly.

Ever thought of just blindly taking the time you don’t already have and giving it to someone else?  I’d be real interested in speaking with you about what volunteering opportunities I think would fit your bucket.  In fact, if you’re in that rut I mentioned, you’ll find that this will be a great rut-changer.

Forget the time problem. It’s a given.  So what?  Whomever you spend time with, will have no time to die, no time to wait on the phone for a new leg, or no time to make a meal you could deliver.

This isn’t for babies.

It’s for you and me.

We rock.

Platinum:

Natural Light Beer : Natty ads.  “Natta Boy” — “what someone says to the guy who brings Natural Light to the game”.  — An AWFUL watered down beer gets a great boost by saying, “hey, we’re pretty low end and we speak to our low end demo”.  The tag lines make you laugh in traffic and why not?  You know the people that drink this beer (read: college kids and your uncle louie) and you know they’d say stupid stuff like this.

Gold:

That stupid foam finger and beer holder combo advertised on NFL football games this season. (Tailgate Superstars?) — The Natty drinkers best friend.  You go to the website and you see these friggin’ foam fingers — a holdout from 1988 football games — and now they hold your warm Coors.  Great!  I was thinking last night about how the auditions for that spokesman must’ve been really on the low end.  The guys that use the foam finger in the fake audience were definitely the guys who blew the audition but got a honorable mention part.  You can’t help but like this ad. They hired the clean cut skinny guy because in a tailgate at USC he’s the dumb ass you were always entertained by in college but never thought was going to make it.

Silver:

The new Big Carl.  The song IS better than that crappy McDonald’s Big Mac song.  I think these ads really show us what burger eating is all about.  Sloppy, malicious, and the ugly side of carnivorous.  I hate fast food by the way.  At least in your car I do.

Bronze:

Barbra Streisand’s new album “Love is the Answer”.  I was flying through a grocery store or carwash the other day and low and behold there’s Babs with her silver (blanket?) wrapped up and around her neck almost covering her lovely New Jersey Turnpike face.  I only think Jersey girl when I see her.  I secretly want to deliver pizza to her and Brolin in BelAir one day only so I can see what kind of boxers or skivvies he wears while she stands behind with her change purse getting me my last penny (Babs doesn’t tip I know it).  But, I digress.  She has a PLASTIC CD that she’s selling in places only the CD set with a 1997 Cad will buy.  Yuck.  I truly think her voice is amazing.  I think her Village Vanguard appearance is brill.  But gosh girl, I can tell your agent is in a wheelchair from old age and your label rep has a statue at Sony.  Just like Bob Lefetz says to U2, go crazy, go wild.  Show up at the OC County Fair (you can get good body guards you know) and you will sell to new devotees.  Show up at Ross Dress For Less in the shoe aisle in Sherman Oaks and you’ll SURELY sell CD’s.  Show up at Mercedes Benz of Beverly Hills and guess what?  You’ll SELL CDs.  I know you Babs and I know you didn’t do that album to NOT sell it.  Show us you have the chops before iTunes or Amazon MP3s puts you on the $3 album shelf.

If you’re on my site reading this, look at the difference between the two haircuts.  I think these guys were business partners once.

Charles’s Life Rules

1. Don’t be a jerk
2. Don’t take anyone for granted
3. Enjoy the moment
4. Be honest, always
5. Be humble
6. Be kind
7. Respect people’s wishes
8. Allow endings
9. Fail openly
10. Have an amazing haircut

Big in Asia.

Coming here very soon.

See the bottom slide show. The charts are a few pics in.

What the heck is wrong with America’s airports?  I’ve been in the swing of this since 4.30AM today and will culminate a 10 hour trip in a few hours.  I’ve been taking notes and there are a few below. Ok… sure, call it rants if you want.

I’ve been flying since I was a tot.  Both parents worked at a major airline for 20+ years.  My sister still hits the tarmac after 30+ years and she’s got stories. I’ve got as many miles as some road warriors do today.  That’s not the point.  Even if this is your first flight and you just crawled out from under a rock, you’d be concerned and frustrated by what I saw today.  This isn’t one of those “I’m not happy, nobody’s happy” situations.  I’m not complaining if my in-flight wifi goes down.  I’m saying that it seems that no one — absolutely no one — seems to put any simple marketing sense to the airport experience.

Masks to abate swine flu on domestic flights.  Get real people.  I rest my case.

TSA Mission Statement – Every sentence in the very long diatribe you call a mission statement (I call it a manifesto, with a few typos I noticed) starts with “We are a people…”.  My god “people”, you aren’t Choctaw Indians.  I take some solace in your personal commitment to be a nice human being but if you graduated from retail training at Apple, I’d be way more comfortable.  Net Promoter “people”.  That’s all I gotta say.

Velcro shoes on everyone – old and young.  Tell me again why we let the Taliban dictate our fashion sense?

Where have you been? A gal today drives up in front of BUR at 5.45AM and leaves her rental car there at the curb. Locked.  No keys in side.  Trunk open and empty.  She was paged and low and behold, she thought it was OK to leave it there at the curb to pick up a delayed bag.  She was gone 20 minutes. Where have you been for the last 8 years lady?  Scratch that.  15 years.  Of course, she told the officer as I stood nearby that she “didn’t know…”

Take her license away.

Water Boarding.  The real definition of water boarding is the fact that my $1.00 bottle of Arrowhead has to be a city water bottle (crappy Aquafina) $5.00 behind the wall.  You tell me that commerce doesn’t have any influence on the decision to not allow liquids into the TSA line and I have some new FL real-estate to sell you.  I’ll give up on capitalism if you just let me have my water from home.  And before you send me the long crap about the cool margins and profits on products like this and that I’m just jealous I’m not cashing in, you’re wrong.  If I ran the airport newsstand, I would ask cool new companies that don’t have money to run big ads at airports to buy label ads on water I sell so I can keep some nice margins but also sell the water for near that buck. That’s my idea.  Don’t try it.

Starbucks discount block.  I am very sick and tired of the airport @starbucks not taking my 10% discount card that I so love and keep under my pillow.  They can put a man on the moon but…

American (and others) block free wifi. I was one of the folks on an American consumer advisory panel that pushed hard for free wifi in the Admiral’s Club.  Now, take that sentiment and move it to your public lounges.  I will buy an ad to run for 12 months at a good rate if you do. So will others.  Thousands of others if you price it right.  See above about Net Promoters.  I am basically a 2 right now since you locked me out of wifi in the airport lounge.

A good thing — the McDonald’s golf cart to shuttle you between terminals at DFW.  I thought it was smart to pick up stranded passengers, and at the same time give them an offer to stop at the four McDonald’s in the terminal.  Seems someone took some time to think that through.

The guy walking to work near the airport.  I cannot tell you how many times in Burbank and near LAX, I’ve seen people walking to work a few miles from the airport.  They are in their uniform and usually carrying a bag lunch.  It really hits home with how little the airports pay to keep us safe.  The guy this morning was no different.  Living on the edge.  No wonder he is disgruntled.

The disgruntled look on pretty much everyone’s face.  We’ve known about this one forever.  Funny thing is I’ve personally known a lot of nice gate agents in my time but everyone today was tense, huffy, and waiting for you to ask for their first born.  Take a breath people.  You chose this job knowing the hell it defines.

The challenge hits us in life a lot.

Do we stand up for ourselves and fight the $15 battle?  Or, do we acquiesce and let the people be the people and languish in their fifteen dollar grief while getting what they want?

I started to choose the former but after more than 30 minutes on dispute file creation and almost making my nice UPS store manager angry, I’m done.  This little battle really divides the sane from the embattled.  The process that this person used to reason and balance his day with is no different than a hundred taliban readying another blast.  His life is off track.  His world is very small.  I wish I could meet him so he’d see that I’m just like him — wanting to clean my closet so others can partake.  His closet has more webs possibly, but we have commonalities just the same.

Sure, you say it’s only $15.  The truth is that it’s a principle thing at $15 or $15,000.   Some of the battles are worth it.  Some you just figure you can screw up your life or you can  Move On Dot Junk.

You’re not BONO.